In the Beginning There Was A Diagnosis
My "journey" began about 9 months ago. I was almost unreasonably tired, had a constantly upset tummy and ached all over. I didn't have the flu, I was getting my usual 6- 7 hours sleep and eating well. What's was up? I checked with the family doctor who basically said, you have fibromyalgia, handed me a scrip, and off I went. So, that's how this all started, with me getting a diagnosis
Being me, I didn't get the prescription filled and told myself to be a good little soldier and to keep going. I should mention that at the time I was working between 40 and 50 hours a week. And I loved my job, I had been there nearly 14 years and routinely came home around 8 PM. But getting up in the morning was getting tougher and tougher every day. I used to be up around 6:30 every morning. Then it was 7, a few months later it was 8, and by the early spring, I was getting up around 8:30, I stopped wearing makeup and would go to work with wet hair so I could arrive by 10 or 10 or so. I was late a lot, and yet, a few hours after arriving at work, I was wiped out and craved a nap more than I wanted lunch. I pumped enough caffeine into myself to sink a battleship to just get through the afternoon. I started falling asleep sitting up at my desk. I clearly was fatigued more than I had ever been before, even than those years when I had a baby to care for. I was turning into a physical wreck.
In the meantime, the company I worked for was having problems. As the finance person, I routinely shielded myself from the negativity and abuse thrown my way. But, it was getting to be too much even for me. While seeing my doctor in April, I burst into tears, and said, "I just can't do this any more!". Where did that come from? As it all shook out, it came to pass that the best thing for me and the best thing for my company was for me to take some time off. It was time for me, for the first time in my life, to stay at home and rest and to hopefully get better and certainly for me to feel better. The thing is, I had no clue whatsoever how to do that.
Yes, you heard me correctly. I had no idea how to relax or to care for myself. I am 57.5 years old, I run a multimillion corporation, have a great marriage, two adult offspring, and no clue how to care for myself , let alone how to live with a disease that even some health care professionals hold in some skepticism. So, this is what this blog will be about. I'll try to keep you posted.
